Disturbing reports have emanated this morning, which suggest that Prime Minister David Cameron once performed an obscene act with a dead pig while studying at Oxford University.
These claims have been made by Lord Ashcroft, former deputy chairman of the Conservative Party, in the book Call Me Dave: The Unauthorised Biography. Ashcroft alleges that Cameron undertook this nauseating act as part of an initiation ceremony for the ‘Piers Gaveston Society’.
The Labour Party will undoubtedly privately thank Lord Ashcroft for his timely intervention, which has momentarily distracted the media from Jeremy Corbyn’s blunder-ridden beginning as party leader.
The above image is our attempt to predict how Labour would have attacked the incumbent PM, if Corbyn’s anti-smear maturity had failed to conquer the party.