#2 Hebrew swearing and council estate by-elections

16 Sep 2016

 

 

“Do you know what we need?” Kate began.

 

"For John the Baptist to put the stand-up on hold for a bit?" I offered, as I used my sickle key ring to tear open a brussels sprout and kale chutney sandwich.

 

“An elected compliance unit?” Sean, our Director of non-Portland Communications and PR (Proletariat Relations) mumbled.

 

Kate sighed. “I should know better than to ask open-ended questions… I was only going to suggest we crack open a bottle!”

 

We were on our way to Sunderland. There’s a by-election on for the Leader of the Party and apparently some by-election for a council estate seat too. We were holding a couple of five hour-long rallies and one twenty minute-long phone bank in the town centre. The council estate election was only a 10 minute walk away apparently — but as I’ve written before, it was on a council estate so we thought it was best avoided. I found the accent difficult enough to understand as it was.

 

JC couldn't make it to Sunderland. Something about a wilting olive branch. He must be very upset, he always takes his plants to heart.

 

 

 

Read more of the satirical diaries series

 

 

 

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