#13 Cuba's problems are merely transitional

“But three-line whips are hardly the stuff of the new politics.”

 

But when your MPs vote for it, I think it’s okay.”

 

“And who elected them?”

 

“Well actually…”

 

“Oh bore off!”

 

We were having a productive day. I had spent much of it going through the big economic acronyms with the leader. It’s a shame about what happened really, as he knows all the important ones; SWP, SYRIZA, M&S, etc.

 

I’ve also been trying to book the Queen of Thornberries’ flights but Red Ken keeps giving me things to do. I mean it’s rather fun , but there’s only so many times you can troll the Israeli Ambassador. Something tells me Ken’s in a grump about something, he’s been decked out in black all week, he looks like he’s off to a funeral.

 

It turns out, that our Queen is able to get beyond the human rights abuses despite her previous reports that it was “quite difficult” difficult, lemon difficult.

 

I know Cuba has its problems — not that I’ve been, I use all my holidays to travel to Africa teaching etiquette to Africans — but you have to admit that any country in a transitional phase has problems.

 

After all, like the Cubans have US economic sanctions, post-Brexit Britain will now have EU economic sanctions. Sure, many of us will still have our cake and eat it — but people need to understand that all the pain will be worth it in the end.

 

Castro’s critics are harsh and wide. Even that traitor Owen Jones has referred to the “Stalinist experience”. As Sean Miller, our Director of Communications and PR (Proletariat Relations) said, spitting out his Kvass; “He thinks Cuba’s Stalinist, he should try New Labour” (I personally wouldn’t know, I joined the party in 2016).

 

The leader has naturally praised the former president’s revolutionary “heroism”. He drafted a tweet about how Castro “actually won the Cuban Electoral College in a landslide, if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally” but Kate, our Director of CLP Relations and Twitter Polling, swiftly put a stop to that.

 

Plus, Jon Watson’s been up to no good again, after he was secretly filmed singing a Mossad protest song. I might be exaggerating but that’s what Sean called it.

 

“I think he just wants to show some solidarity with the people of Israel.” Kate was trying to reason with him, which was admirably brave.

 

“The people of where?”

 

“Israel. Israelis. Stop it Sean.”

 

“Show me it on a map then? And not any old map, the office map here!”

 

It was going to be another long day

 

 

 

Read more of the satirical diaries series

 

 

 

 

 

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