Scaramucci and Priebus to star in Broadway remake of "The Odd Couple"

11 Aug 2017

 

The script will follow the same format as the 1968 film, where two hapless, middle aged men share a house with hilarious and often disastrous consequences.

 

In a three-hour long unsolicited phone call to Fake News, Scaramucci revealed the lack of job opportunities available to a former Trump employee.

 

"They all think you're deranged or something. Do I sound fucking deranged to you?" Scaramucci said, roughly two hours into the conversation.

 

"Don't get me wrong, I'm a fucking brilliant actor, singer - everything," Scaramucci added. "But I wouldn't take this gig if I didn't have to."

 

 

According to Scaramucci, his mother won't be attending the opening night, because she refuses to pick up his calls. "Even those bastards at the New Yorker refuse to speak to me, so I call up and pretend to be Bannon. They usually put the phone down when I start talking about sucking my own cock," Scaramucci said, chuckling quietly to himself.

 

"But I've sent some tickets to daddy. Erm, I mean, the President. Do you think he'll come? I really hope he comes."

 

And how are rehearsals going so far?

 

"Priebus is such a fucking weasel. He'll be leaking everything I say to the New York Times," Scaramucci said. "That man's got more leaks than the fucking Titanic."

 

Reince Priebus declined to comment.

Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) from Backbench.

 

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