Plans to renovate President Trump’s official dump are to be scrapped following the firing of professional Quasimodo lookalike Steve Bannon.
One White House staffer, one of the few not yet crying in a foetal position on the floor of the West Wing, stated the building already appears a great deal brighter just hours after the former strategist’s departure.
It is understood work on the White House lawn will go ahead, as the scorch marks left by what Trump allies insist are ‘large barbeques’ have become an eyesore for tourists.
Bannon is reported to be greatly annoyed by his sacking, as the dismissal left him with little time to fetch his favourite white hood from his local dry cleaners.
President Trump, valiantly plotting his defeat of North Korea from his favourite New Hampshire golf course, was too busy for comment.
A Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) from Backbench.
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