The Pentagon was forced to apologise last night after an American missile was fired, on the orders of President Trump, at supposed celebrity Kim Kardashian.
The strike occurred amid rising tensions between North Korea and the US. The country’s leader, Kim Jong-un, was unavailable for comment, though evil cackling could be heard several miles out from Pyongyang.
It was initially reported by Japanese media that the dictator celebrated with a fireworks display, before realising lights seen in the sky were in fact a result of further missile tests.
President Trump, in an uncharacteristic display of honesty, apologised for the mistake, lamenting in particular the destruction of Kardashian’s behind, which was previously touted by defence chiefs as a possible spot to hide behind in the event of attack.
Trump also confirmed a second round of missile strikes would not go ahead, after realising that North Korea and South Korea are not the same.
The wider Kardashian family have not requested privacy at this difficult time, one relative insisting that police repeat the news with a camera crew present so that their reaction might be captured.
Keeping Up with the Kardashians show-runners admitted to being impressed by the news, exclaiming “this is better than anything we could have written.”
A Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) from Backbench.
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