Red-faced CIA humiliated as vacuum cleaner schematics mistaken for North Korean nuclear blueprints

3 Sep 2017

The CIA has been left embarrassed after the contents of a foreign intelligence report concerning North Korea were found to be inaccurate.

 

The organisation believed it had obtained the blueprints of the hydrogen bomb the Kim Jong-un leadership is reportedly developing, only for it to transpire that the plans were in fact schematics for a new Korean model of Dyson vacuum cleaner.

 

CIA director Mike Pompeo, dismissing suggestions from the press that the phrase ‘American intelligence’ is a contradiction in terms, said that the information must have been ‘lost in transit somewhere.’

 

‘Regrettably we remain unaware of the precise nature of North Korea’s nuclear capacity,’ Pompeo added. ‘But we now know beyond doubt that Kim Jong-un can remove dust and dirt from many surfaces with 30% less noise than previously.’

Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) from Backbench.

 

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