Editor and MP for Schadenfreude Central George Osborne has today announced he will be taking on another job, his thousandth since leaving office.
The former Chancellor has insisted his new role, as host and star of BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing, will not clash with those he already holds, in particular his full-time work at the London Evening Standard, BlackRock, the Northern Powerhouse Partnership, the McCain Institute, and the Washington Speakers Bureau.
Mr Osborne reassured the public that his daily bullying of Theresa May would also continue.
When it was pointed out that his former rival, Ed Balls, had also participated in Strictly Come Dancing, Osborne scoffed and exclaimed “I shall achieve a far greater majority than he ever did.”
The admission prompted some worry about the former poltician’s understanding of Strictly, before it was realised that being woefully unqualified has never stifled his progress before.
Diane Abbott was also invited to participate, but was forced to pull out after getting the Strictly studio confused with that of Eastenders.
A Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) from Backbench.
Subscribe to the weekly Backbench email briefing.