Plotting, egotistical maniac to meet lost twin

14 Oct 2017

 Foreign Secretary and lamentably employed nitwit Boris Johnson has been invited to visit Moscow by his Russian counterpart, a major milestone in inter-prat relations.


Mr Johnson will meet with Russian officials later this year, the vital issues being discussed including North Korea, Iran and dogs, creatures the Foreign Secretary adores so dearly that he keeps a small blonde one on his head of a permanent basis.


It has also been reported that Mr Johnson and Mr Putin, taking time off from his advisory role with US President Donald Trump, will exchange tips on bigotry.


It is expected that the two men also mention Brexit. Mr Putin is known to be a supporter of Britain's departure from the European Union, some claiming he led Russian interference in the 2016 referendum that brought it about.


The Foreign Secretary, supposedly the shiniest of the Vote Leave turds, has dismissed accusations of Russian collusion, reminding voters that lies printed on the sides of red buses are quite sufficient.


Some pundits are sceptical about Mr Johnson remaining in his current post at the Foreign Office, his latest series of gaffes calling into question his fitness for the job. Allies, however, have pointed out that his total lack of tact has never stopped him before.


"Boris is Boris" remains a common mantra among friends, a serious contender against "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" and "Strong and Stable Leadership" in the 'Most Annoying Political Phrase of the Year' competition.


Theresa May, apparently Prime Minister, is to hand out prizes to the lucky winners, a Conservative majority one of the fabulous rewards up for grabs.

Поддельные новости статья (да, у вас есть это, это не настоящие новости), принесенный вам Backbench.


Подпишитесь на наш еженедельный брифинг.

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