Everything is fine, Spain insists

29 Oct 2017


Spanish Prime Minister, and 'King of Calm', Mariano Rajoy has reassured European allies that there is absolutely nothing to panic about in Spain.


Mr Rajoy spoke after a notably uneventful week of warm exchanges between the Catalan parliament, recently dissolved after voting to declare its independence as part of a hilarious prank, and the Spanish government.


Crying "in amusement", Mr Rajoy told journalists that reports of a crisis were exaggerated, and that Spain would soon "calm down". When asked whether sending National Police to Catalonia would restore calm, the Prime Minister ran away.


Catalan separatists have found an ally in the SNP, First Minister Nicola Sturgeon proposing Scotland twin its towns with those of Catalonia. However, Ms Sturgeon soon retracted the proposal when it was pointed out that many English people frequent the area on holiday.


David Cameron has also chipped in to express his concerns that separation from Spain will interfere with one of his Autumn mini-breaks.


Downing Street has refused to recognize Catalonia as an independent country, a spokesman of Theresa May confirming "this government does not support any nation that is prepared to risk the stability of its leadership by dramatically divorcing itself from a major European power."


The spokesman seized the opportunity to remind reporters that Mrs May's Brexit negotiations were going "swimmingly", though it is thought he probably confused the definition of 'swimming' with that of 'drowning'.

A Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) brought to you by Backbench.


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