It has been reported that US President, and Manchild-in-Chief, Donald Trump will be treated to an 'authentic British experience' during his state visit to the UK next year.
Mr Trump will be introduced to such national customs as being totally ignored on all forms of transport, poor customer service and the common greeting 'Oi, wanker'.
Foreign Office officials have assured the public their plans for the state visit are not in any way coloured by the country's dislike of the President, but did mistakenly type 'Mr Dump' on the corresponding statement.
Donald Trump's visit is rumoured to take place in London next February.
Theresa May is to guide her US counterpart around the capital via the tube.
Downing Street sources have confirmed Mrs May will not take with her a map, as getting lost on the London Underground is a "traditional British past-time."
The experience will be further enhanced by Mrs May's total lack of direction.
Some have objected to the visit, accusing the President of hate speech over his repeated mocking and insulting of such groups as Muslims, women, Mexicans and the disabled.
(Editor's note: Backbench is at present unable to publish a full list of those President Trump has insulted, as our word limit would not allow it.)
He also sparked outrage by describing some English cities, namely London and Birmingham, as 'no-go areas'.
Mr Trump has, however, inspired local authorities to use the label as a warning for the duration of his visit.
Backbench reached out to the White House for a reaction to current criticism, but were instead redirected to the Kremlin.
A Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) brought to you by Backbench.
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