Jeremy Corbyn cast as James Bond

20 Feb 2018

It was announced today that Labour leader and budding Grime artist Jeremy Corbyn has been cast as the new James Bond.

 

Mr Corbyn will assume the role after Daniel Craig's departure.

 

The Islington MP vowed to take on the part "before the end of the year", before hastily adding "I definitely mean it this time."

 

It has been reported that Diane Abbott hopes to replace Judi Dench as M, as she believes the role will help her prepare for life as Home Secretary.

 

Theresa May will also cameo in the new Bond film in a scene in which she orders the deliberate underfunding of MI6.

 

Confirmation of the absolute boy's new role comes just days after it was reported he had colluded against British intelligence services with a Czech spy.

 

Aides of the MP have denied the allegation, claiming that if Mr Corbyn had wanted to revel secrets to a dangerous communist during the 1980s he would have contacted John McDonnell.

A Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) brought to you by Backbench.

 

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