Fish to protest against Nigel Farage

22 Mar 2018

The aquatic community has vowed to exact revenge after several unfortunate fish were brutally cast away by Nigel Farage as part of an anti-EU demonstration.


The former UKIP leader, and famous reptile, participated in a protest that involved tipping a considerable amount of dead fish into the Thames.


Relatives of the victims have expressed their distress upon seeing their loved ones manhandled by a large lizard in the name of Brexit.


"I find Mr Farage's protest to be offensive" one Thames resident glubbed, "Jeremy Corbyn would never have done this. He's a vegetarian."


"Slimy, scaly, slippery. Imagine coming into contact with something like that" a human onlooker remarked, "Those fish deserved better."


London's fish have promised to take a stand against the scoundrel.


One proposed act of retribution involves placing fish in each of the countless pints Mr Farage consumes of a daily basis.


Some have suggested hiding fish in the backside of President Donald Trump, so that they can confront Farage during his next visit to the US.


Aquatic creatures have already been deployed to far-right conferences across Europe with the intention of throwing other humans at the politician.


One rival shared plans to throw Farage in the Thames in defiance.


His estranged wife was promptly dismissed.

A Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) brought to you by Backbench.


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