The London borough of Windsor celebrates today after the marriage of local youngsters Harry and Meghan.
The two wed in a quiet, private ceremony at lunchtime today, with only a handful of guests.
The couple planned a short procession around Windsor, but found their passage blocked by a fight between a taxi driver and a cyclist.
Ms Markle has attracted considerable praise for her many charitable acts, namely that of marrying a ginger.
Harry reportedly comes from an old family famous for selling overpriced tat to tourists.
Some questioned whether the nuptials should go ahead, with one party being of foreign descent, but it is said Meghan doesn't mind.
Harry prepared for the ceremony with a stag do at his local pub.
In accordance with ancient tradition, customised t-shirts were handed to all attendees.
Photos taken on the night show the groom wearing a t-shirt bearing the words '(Not) Daddy's Boy'
The bride was assured the scantily clad woman who emerged from a cake during the event was not a stripper, but Harry's drunk grandmother suffering a major wardrobe malfunction.
A Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) brought to you by Backbench.
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