Today's summit between Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump ended in bitterness after an argument about who should foot the pair's lunch bill.
The twin demagogues, reportedly "ravenous" after a grueling five minutes of negotiation, visited their local Nando's, where relations soon turned sour.
President Trump refused to pay for both delegations' meals as he had a mere one million dollars in his wallet, while Mr Kim claimed his country's coffers were drained after the purchase of several "special fireworks"
War was declared when a mysterious side of peri peri chicken thighs appeared on the bill, with neither man-child claiming responsibility.
"I don't know why they got so upset" said the attending waitress, "It was just a printing error."
The restaurant was promptly destroyed by a nuclear missile.
A spokesman for the company told Backbench:
"So long as bored adolescents don't get caught up in the conflict, we should remain in business."
Insiders say the relationship between Mr Trump and Mr Kim was already "frosty" upon their arrival at the restaurant.
The President reportedly teased the Korean dictator for opting for mild sauce, rather than his preferred hot sauce.
Fellow diners claim to have spotted Hillary Clinton seated in a corner repeating the word "cheeky" to confused teenagers.
Some have turned to Prime Minister Theresa May for guidance as the world approaches Armageddon, though the sane remain sceptical.
Jeremy Corbyn has offered to mediate peace talks between North Korea and the U.S, inviting delegations from both nations to join him at his favourite independent coffee shop in Soho.
Mr Corbyn has been a vocal critic of President Trump since his election, strongly objecting to his so-called 'Muslim ban' which he claims attacks "the wrong group of people."
Momentum agreed with great enthusiasm.
A Fake News article (yes, you've got it, this isn't real news) brought to you by Backbench.
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