GDP: Let’s talk

Thursday, June 14, 2018


It’s time we spoke about GDP. You know, that economic boyfriend who seemed so right for you at the start, but now you’ve come to realise was little more than a post-Depression rebound. Yes, him. It’s about time you moved on.


Don’t let this relationship turn into a marriage. You might not see it now, but he’s just not right for you. He’s got his priorities all wrong.


First of all, don’t you remember that evening we were all out on the town? You, GDP, and me. Remember when we were walking home that evening how we passed that homeless man in his dirty sleeping bag, lying on the sidewalk? You looked down at your feet. I pretended not to hear as he begged me for some change.


Do you remember what GDP did? How, as we walked by, he held out his stuffed wallet, making sure the protruding notes were visible, mocking the poor man. ‘If you want some of this, you’re going to have to work for it. Not beg.’


I remember how you tried to hide your embarrassment as you laughed and said ‘oh GDP, just leave that poor man alone. He’s not our problem.’ That evening we all slept so soundlessly.


I realise you and GDP are close. You’ve been through so many ups and downs together. It’s hard to give up any long-lived relationship. Especially when he’s spoilt you so.


Remember when he came home with that gold necklace for you? It was so beautiful. Remember how the first thing he told you was how much he’d spent, because he ‘wanted to make sure you knew how valuable’ you were to him.


But do you also remember why he bought you the necklace in the first place? He wanted to cheer you up. Your friend had taken his own life that morning. I do remember how your face lit up when you saw that necklace on yourself in the mirror. That smile didn’t really reach your eyes though, did it?


When I saw you the next day, you were wearing the necklace again. You looked so beautiful. So wealthy. But you didn’t look happy. When your housemaid complimented your necklace, I could tell that your smile was feigned.


How time flies – you haven’t worn that necklace for years. Do you even remember where you keep it?


But that’s not all. There’s one more thing I wanted to discuss with you. That time we all went on holiday. I felt very uncomfortable…


We were all there: You and GDP, Mr and Mrs GNP, Ms and Mr GNI. And then there was me. The awkward seventh wheel.


The holiday started great. None of us were skimping on the costs. It felt like a first-class celebration. But by the third evening, when maybe GDP was pouring the champagne a little too freely, it all turned a bit sour. You were getting a little drunk. GDP, GNP, and GNI were in the kitchen, sharing stories.


We could hear them from the sitting room. Getting louder and louder. Bragging. Boasting. Trying to outdo each other. That’s just what guys do, isn’t it?


But don’t think I’m not aware of where you woke up the next morning. In GNP’s bed. What I want to know is why? Did he promise to give you more? Was it because he made a fool of GDP the night before? After all, we both know that GNP drives a faster car.


But you still weren’t satisfied were you? Eyeing up GNI that evening. It wasn’t subtle. I know you’re not entirely happy with GDP — but cheating on him with whoever makes you feel more special isn’t going to fix things either.


You just need to realise that not all relationships last.


We can both recognise how much GDP has given you, while also acknowledging the fact that he’s just doesn’t have the right personality, the right compassion, and the right love for someone as sweet as you. Someone who’s pretty and rich might make a good fling, maybe even a relationship. But I’m telling you, he won’t make a good marriage.


Stay friends, of course. Even exes can remain a part of your life. You can even catch up over coffee each week. It’s just the dating I’m a bit concerned about. You shouldn’t still be sleeping together. He doesn’t really care about you. He doesn’t really care how happy you feel in the long run and he certainly doesn’t care whether or not you’re satisfied in your life.


You’re just his trophy girlfriend, really. He likes dressing you up, making you look pretty, and making you feel special. I know it might be hard to let go, but your relationship’s superficial.


Come with me, let’s spend more time together. I want to know how you feel, what you’re thinking, and I can make you the country you can be. Our relationship will be sustainable. It will be meaningful. And I promise to not embarrass you. I care.


Mrs GNH has a ring to it.

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