Pillock of the Week: Labour's NEC

22 Jul 2018

This week's award goes to the Labour Party, for services to antisemitism.

 

Remember when Labour was a respectable, credible force in British politics?

 

Nope, nor do we.

 

You may have heard a bit about it recently, however, after it dived, Breton cap first, into yet another row over the poor treatment of its Jewish members.

 

Such folk were given something to celebrate earlier this year when famous imbecile and full-time newt keeper Ken Livingstone resigned from the party after his suspension was prolonged.

 

Lest they appear too morally sound, Labour's NEC voted to reject the IHRA definition of antisemitism, a move which has left many furious.

 

Nothing proves you're serious about combating antisemitism like objecting to an internationally recognised definition of the word. 

 

Perhaps some committee members feared they'd be hounded from social media and have a brick thrown through their window? Not that anyone within the Labour Party would consider of such things, of course.

 

Naturally, many Labour MPs aren't entirely happy with this latest cock-up, and have taken to arguing again.

 

Dame Margaret Hodge vented the frustrations of colleagues, calling nonentity Jeremy Corbyn a "fucking antisemite and racist". She has since been accused by some of overreacting.

 

It's almost as though Hodge lost relatives to Hitler or something.

 

(Sit down, Ken.)

 

The real question amid all this is what does the reverant JC (certainly not the King of the Jews in this case) think of all this?

 

Well, he's upset. Not due to the vile abuse Jewish members of his party have suffered under his leadership, but because Margaret Hodge, among others, is actually taking him to task over it.

 

Such is his fear of backbenchers voting to approve the IHRA definition, he's asked his MPs to delay a key discussion on the subject.

 

Corbyn, usually lagging somewhere behind both tortoise and hare, has been surprisingly swift in his efforts to crush another rebellion. The lights are on somewhere. It's just a shame he switches them off whenever vulnerable Jews come knocking.

 

Perhaps another independent investigation could shed further light on Labour's antisemitism problem? Surely they can find someone willing to sacrifice their integrity in exchange for a peerage?

 

(Editor's note: I'm just an email away, Jeremy.)

 

Maybe fudge is Labour's favourite sweet?

 

You might deduce Corbyn and co. are simply ignorant to the damage, far too busy flinging darts at pictures of Benjamin Netanyahu that they haven't the capacity to understand what the complications might be.

 

Except they aren't ignorant.

 

When Jewish MP Ruth Smeeth was driven from a party event in tears because of verbal abuse from a member of Momentum, what did Jeremy do?

 

Apologise to his ally and joke that his mission to bring about a kinder, gentler politics remained "a work in progress."

 

From Ken Livinstone and his Hitler references to Jackie Walker and her Momentum goons, the examples continue.

 

Taking issue with a widely-approved definition of antisemitism is yet another example of the party's twattery on the subject, a misguided attempt to allow the prejudiced to sleep a little easier in their red beds.

 

It's the left-wing equivalent of the Tories trying to redefine child poverty to ease their conscience. Oh wait.

 

Perhaps Labour should ditch their 'kinder, gentler politics' mantra all together. We're sure a catchy replacement could be found. 'For the many, not the Jew', perhaps?

 

While you consider it, allow us to present the NEC, and the likes of Corbyn who defend its decision, with our Pillock of the Week award!

 

Congratulations!

Subscribe to our weekly briefing.

 

Follow us at @Fake_Newsfeed to vote for next week's winner!

 

(Backbench makes no guarantee poll will not be rigged by Russia.)

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