People forget about everything as sport returns

5 Aug 2018

 Anxiety over Brexit and other political issues is set to wilt, following the return of another sporting season.


Brits the length and breadth of the country are expected to become distracted from major goings on, in favour of watching overpriced men kick spheres in otherwise unused green spaces.


The English Premier League is due to start this Friday, with Leicester City playing Manchester Utd, and the English and Scottish Football Leagues returned this weekend.


One football fan, who did not want to be named out of embarrassment, said: "I can't wait, I've spent the whole Summer panicking about Brexit, or what Trump was doing, but now I have something to take my mind off it.

"I really can't wait until all I have to think about is whether it was or was not a penalty, which it definitely fucking was.


"I've already stopped caring about some stuff, I couldn't give less of a shit about the rise of the far right and a fledgling Fascist movement in the UK, because I've watched the first half of Wigan v Sheffield Wednesday."

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