Brexit Festival Will Celebrate The Union Of England And No-one Else

15 Oct 2018

 

The government’s proposed Festival of Great Britain and Northern Ireland in 2022 will be held in England, as it will be the only country remaining in the Union of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

 

The festival will celebrate everything about post-Brexit Britain and will mainly comprise of young people sleeping outside. The festival organisers have assured that there will be ‘adequate food’ for the duration of the event but admit that queues to get into the festival could be as long as 20 miles for those coming by lorry.

 

Theresa May said “We want to showcase what makes our country great today, which is why we’re doing it in 2022 to give us time to come up with some examples."

 

Like many festivals today, the Brexit-inspired event will feature a zero-tolerance drugs policy which will apply to narcotics and opioids, as well as basic medical supplies like morphine and paracetamol.

 

Unlike many festivals today, it will also feature a zero-tolerance policy.

 

Predicted headliners for the festival at present are poverty, inequality and inflation as well as a possible afternoon show by the Wurzels.

 

 

Fake News article (yep you got us, this isn't real) by Kieran Macfadzean at Backbench

 

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