The Saudi prince, famous for his notably progressive agenda such as his policy of allowing women to brush their teeth without their husband’s permission, is entering the world of perfume.
It’s hoped that the release of the fragrance will cover up the unpleasant stink surrounding the killing of a Saudi journalist in Turkey this week.
Theresa May is said to have personally received a bottle of the prototype. The prince had intended it as a gift but the PM instinctively gave him a handgun, citing this behaviour as ‘simply force of habit’.
When asked what goes into creating the distinctive aroma, bin Salman responded, “it’s mostly just a lot of blood, mixed in with a tiny bit more oil”.
The concoction is said to cause extreme pain when coming into contact with open wounds. So those accidentally nicking themselves while shaving or beheading a fruit thief should be careful when applying. Fortunately, the shaving risk isn’t expected to cause much concern in Saudi Arabia.
The profits from sales of the scent will go towards the Prince’s favourite charity: Caliph8. This is an organisation that helps disadvantageous teens by setting them up in communities (mostly in Northern Syria) and arming them with everything they need to survive (an AK-47).
If successful, the fragrance line is expected to expand quickly to include other scents. These include the potent Radicalised which will hit shopping centres in 2019; Barbaric which representatives describe as ‘for the ladies’; and Culpable which is expected to be a big seller in the US and UK.
A Fake News article (yep you got us, this isn't real) by Kieran Macfadzean at Backbench
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