As the celebration of the foiled gunpowder plot draws near, the most insidious attack on British sovereignty since Guy Fawkes has been revealed.
Undercover investigations by the MET police have observed the Labour leader meeting with the sinisterly named organisation known as the ‘Shadow Cabinet’.
This group of prominent politicians seek to take Britain hostage by acquiring ownership of railways and increasing police numbers to a level it ominously calls ‘basically adequate’.
Prime Minister Theresa May has condemned the plot, calling it ‘despicable’ and vowing to ‘crush the saboteurs’.
Jeremy Corbyn has reportedly been leading this ‘cult like’ organisation for years. It predominantly targets the impressionable minds of youth who are taught to chant the name of its leader to the tune of Seven Nation Army.
Tarquin Billingham, a reformed ex-member of the cult, admitted that he still finds it difficult to resist the urge to go along with this conditioning when he hears the song.
When asked what the fiscal policies or the long-term plan for EU relations the organisation pushes on its members, Tarquin responded “the what now?” before launching into the unsettling chant again.
A Fake News article (yep you got us, this isn't real) by Kieran Macfadzean at Backbench
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