Global warming was a joke, admit scientists

26 Nov 2018

 

 

The 97% of the scientific community that has been pushing the narrative of man-made climate change has today come clean about the worldwide hoax.

 

A spokesman for these scholars, Boffin McEgghead divulged that the prank had been conceived as a dare on the scientific community WhatsApp group by the late Stephen Hawking.

 

“Stephen was terribly mischievous” Boffin said. “I remember one time when his professors questioned a coffee stain on his thesis and he had to think on his feet. That’s where the idea of black holes comes from. Honestly, the man was a liability”.

 

"Honestly, we're surprised so many people believed us" he scoffed. "I mean, come on. Have you felt how cold it is? Do you believe everything you see online?"

 

For years 3% of scientists have refused to take part in what they described as an ‘immature charade’.

 

The WhatsApp group reportedly placed a £10 wager on who would be the first to break and come clean to the public.

 

“I’m all for a bit of fun but sometimes it can go too far” said Dr Patrick Michaels. “I personally feel that to go against the research and misinform world leaders in return for money is immoral and not something anyone considering themselves a legitimate scholar would indulge in”.

 

Professor Brian Cox responded to the remark by scoffing and claiming that Michaels was “always shit banter anyway”.

This has been a Fake News article (we're 97% sure this isn't real which, while not enough for the US President, is good enough for us) by Kieran Macfadzean.

 

Subscribe to our weekly briefing for a free eight tonnes of tinned peaches which will get you through the first year of the upcoming apocalypse.

 

 

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Please reload

Want to respond? Submit an article.

SUPPORT BACKBENCH

We provide a space for reasoned arguments and constructive disagreements.

Help to improve the quality of political debate – support our work today.