2019 is to become the first Chinese year of the lemming, officials state

12 Jan 2019

 

 

In a shock announcement, the Chinese government has declared that they are diverting from their traditional zodiac ahead of their New Year celebrations next February.

 

According to the usual order, the coming year was set to be the year of the pig, but it was felt that pigs’ relative intelligence disqualify them from representing the coming months.

 

China also noted that, in the US especially, the last two years have been ‘of the pig’.

 

Lemmings are infamous for their tendency to commit mass suicide by blindly following others off a cliff, something Chinese officials fits the current Western zeitgeist much more fully.

 

 

 

Also noted in the announcement was the fact that the lemming suicide legend is in fact a myth propagated by a Walt Disney film. The link to large organisations misleading the public on self-damaging acts was cited as purely coincidental.

 

2018, the year that just ended, was the Chinese year of the dog, which the government felt was appropriate given the very public display of Vladimir Putin’s relationship with another World leader.

 

Similarly, 2016 was the year of the Rooster. A rude and unpleasant wake-up call- 2016 was also the year David Bowie died.

This has been a Fake News article (that's right, this isn't real) by Kieran Macfadzean.

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