Prominent Brexit advocate James Dyson to relocate company headquarters to ‘opposite world’

29 Jan 2019

 

The previously unchartered country is found on the coast of the purple sea and has featured heavily in the news for its poor record with men’s rights under a brutal matriarchy.

 

Opposite world’s official language is English, but in a curious quirk of the dialect, when a native says something, they in fact mean the complete reverse of whatever they say. This can make them seem like lying, duplicitous worms but luckily this hasn’t put the hoover mogul off moving there.

 

A representative for Dyson remarked “James has picked up the local tongue like a duck to water… or as they say here a trout to magma!”.

 

Reportedly, the language barrier was initially a messy issue for Dyson who introduced himself as a respected inventor of machines that suck dirt out of carpets.

 

 

 

The proposed Dyson HQ development is likely to be in one of the infamous sewerscrapers in Old York City, while Dyson himself will take up residence in the same gated community containing the holiday home of Dominic Raab and the function space that hosts many Trump rallies.

 

While a relative newcomer to the world stage, the country fully titled: The Democratic Republic of Opposite World has very quickly become a cultural powerhouse, with many world leaders appearing to pick up some of the local cadences in their own policies.

 

Backbench officials responded to the news by stating “at least we still have reliable voices in the political landscape like our very own Fake News page”.

 

*Fake News is Sponsored by the Government of The Democratic Republic of Opposite World.

This has been a Fake News piece (I know, this isn't real) by Kieran Macfadzean.

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